When my husband gave me an ultimatum that scared me, he didn’t expect me to stand up for myself and our children. I taught him a big lesson about how unreasonable he was being, especially since we already had so much to be grateful for. In the end, he ended up begging me for mercy!
I never imagined I’d find myself in this situation, but here I am, at a turning point. I had to take strong action when my husband made a demand that pushed me to my limits. This demand was enough to make me take a stand.
My husband, Danny, has always been a dedicated father and a successful businessman. He works hard and provides well for our family, allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom to our five wonderful daughters.
But recently, his desire for a son to “carry on the family name” has turned into demands and even threats!
“Lisa, we NEED to have a sixth child,” he said one evening after dinner. His tone was serious and almost cold.
“Danny, we already have FIVE daughters. Are you saying you want me to keep having babies until we have a son?” I asked, feeling the tension build.
“But aren’t children a blessing? Is it really that hard?” His words stung. We’ve had this argument many times before, but this time felt different—it felt like an ultimatum. We kept going in circles, with neither of us willing to back down.
Our argument heated up to the point where Danny hinted he might consider divorcing me if I didn’t agree to have a son. “Are you saying you’d leave me if I don’t give you a son?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“I didn’t say THAT,” he muttered, looking away. But the implication was clear: he was willing to consider divorce if I didn’t follow his wishes. That was the end of our argument as we went our separate ways to get ready for bed.
That night, I lay awake, thinking about our conversation. How could he be so dismissive of the life we’d built together? Our daughters are amazing—each one unique and full of life. I couldn’t imagine our family any other way.
I needed him to understand what he was asking of me, and of us. So, before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep, I decided on a plan to show him exactly what it would mean to raise five children alone.
The very next day, I woke up extra early while everyone was still asleep. I packed a bag and drove to my late mother’s old country house. I turned off my phone’s ringer and ignored all his calls and texts.
After making myself breakfast and a hot cup of coffee, I settled in to watch my favorite show for the day: “The Drama That Unfolds When You Leave Your Husband Alone with Five Children.” I watched everything live through the surveillance cameras we had installed at home.
Danny was in for a rude awakening! As soon as he woke up, he started getting ready for work but was quickly interrupted by the noise from the kids. “Where’s your mother? Why aren’t you all dressed and ready for breakfast?” he asked, clearly frustrated.
My kids made me proud by ignoring him and continuing to play and jump on the beds. Danny searched for me while calling my name, eventually realizing I wasn’t home. He then started calling me, and I watched the calls come through on my phone.
“What the hell, Lisa?” Danny said in frustration after missing my sixth call. He realized he couldn’t leave for work because our young daughters were alone and chaotic. The first morning was hilarious and a complete disaster!
Danny tried to make breakfast but ended up burning the toast and spilling orange juice everywhere. The kids were running wild and refusing to get dressed. He was completely overwhelmed, and I was enjoying every moment from afar!
I could hear him shouting, “Emma, stop running! Jessica, put your shoes on!” His voice was frazzled.
“Daddy, I don’t like this cereal!” Emily whined, pushing her bowl away.
“Then WHAT do you WANT?” he asked, exasperated.
“I want pancakes!” she demanded. Danny sighed and rubbed his temples.
“Fine, I’ll make pancakes.”
Little Jessica, feeling left out, added, “I want scrambled eggs and cake!”
Emma, not wanting to be left out, chimed in, “Waffles and fresh cream, please!”
If his temples were aching before, I was sure they were now throbbing! The chaos only grew throughout the day. He struggled to help them with their online school, but the kids kept getting distracted and running off.
“Jessica, focus on your math homework,” he pleaded.
“But I don’t understand it, Daddy!” she cried. He sat beside her, staring at the screen.
“Okay, let’s figure it out together.” While he was trying to help the kids, a call from work came through.
From the conversation and Danny’s profuse apologies, it was clear he’d forgotten to report himself as absent for the day! At lunchtime, he was clueless about what our kids liked to eat, so they ended up having a makeshift picnic of random snacks.
“Can we have peanut butter and jelly?” Emma asked.
“I’m not sure we have any,” he replied, searching the pantry.
“How about just jelly?” she suggested. I have to admit, while it was a bit sad seeing Danny struggle, it was absolutely hilarious and totally worth it!
The house was a complete disaster, with toys scattered everywhere, and Danny looked like he was about to lose it. “Why is there Play-Doh on the carpet?” he groaned.
“I don’t know, ask Emily,” Jessica replied. When Emily heard her name, she started listing all the reasons why she wasn’t the culprit.
“I only play with purple and blue Play-Doh. I wasn’t sitting on the carpet, I only ran a bit on it in one spot. I…” Danny cut her off, looking exasperated. “Okay, Emily! Enough, I got it! Can you PLEASE just clean it up for Daddy?”
In the evening, the girls decided to play dress-up, and Danny had no choice but to join in. They dressed him up in a tiara and feather boa, pretending he was a princess.
“Daddy, you look SO pretty!” Emily giggled.
“This is ridiculous,” Danny muttered, but he couldn’t help but smile at their happiness.
I decided it was time to head home. When I walked in, Danny rushed to me, looking more relieved than I had ever seen him!
“I am so sorry,” he said. “I won’t pressure you about having a son anymore.” He held me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe!
“I realize now how much you do, and I promise to spend more time with the family,” he vowed. I was genuinely touched.
“If you truly promise to spend more time with us and help out more, we can discuss the POSSIBILITY of a sixth child,” I said.
“Daddy, will you come to my dance recital?” Emily asked one day.
“OF COURSE, sweetheart. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he promised. And he kept his promise! He attended every recital, every soccer game, and every school play. Our daughters thrived with his newfound attention and love.
One evening, as we watched our daughters play in the yard, Danny took my hand. “Thank you, Lisa,” he said softly. “For everything.” I squeezed his hand, feeling tears well up in my eyes.
“Thank you for understanding,” I replied.
Our journey wasn’t easy, but it brought us closer together. My husband learned to appreciate the family we have, and I found the strength to stand up for myself and our daughters. We were stronger than ever, ready to face whatever challenges life threw our way.
As we sat there, watching our daughters chase fireflies under the setting sun, I knew we had found our happily ever after.
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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