Ways BFF Relationships Have Changed From The ’90s Versus Today

We all experienced that a person BFF escalating up in the ’90s

— that one particular particular person we’d have late-evening mobile phone phone calls with,

gossip with about how strict our parents had been, coordinate outfits with.

And when you think about best mates in the ’90s compared to nowadays, you notice that a whole lot has adjusted,

but the fundamentals remain the exact same: you however expend late evenings on the cellphone with your BFF

and you even now gossip with her. You also nevertheless coordinate outfits but then faux it was a total accident.

Actually, factors aren’t all that diverse just after all. We’re just older and drink way extra wine.

Best buddies are the siblings we by no means had. Or possibly we did have siblings

but we just did not like them incredibly considerably. Although your siblings stole your favourite

toys and ran all around exterior with your schooling bra on your head (*cough* happened to a friend…),

your very best friend was the a single you’d make prank calls with, and the shoulder

to cry on when you caught your crush holding fingers with some other chick on the playground.

We would not be the place we are with no our finest buddies

— both equally again in the ’90s, and to this day, even nevertheless times might have adjusted a minor.

1. The Fights We Get Into

In the ’90s: Your BFF thoroughly promised to take treatment of your digital

pet while you have been away on trip, and then she permit it die. You could not glance at her the exact same after that.

Right now: Older people really do not actually battle anymore. Alternatively,

we depart passive-aggressive comments on Fb and purposely really do not like every single other’s Instagram posts.

2. How We Make Up Afterward

In the ’90s: This was the pre-smartphone era so getting by a combat

with your BFF usually associated passing her a observe in class, full

with plenty of frown faces, dotting the i’s with hearts so she realized how

unhappy you had been with no her, and ending it with “LYLAS” — “love you like a sis,”

for everyone who forgot how we made use of to abbreviate stuff.

Now: The peace offering usually requires a $12 Starbucks espresso consume and a smiling selfie of you two collectively to put the previous at the rear of you.

3. Friday Night Entertainment

In the ’90s: We’d head to the mall and acquire faux nose rings from Claire’s, ideal prior to sneaking into an R-rated film. We were so terrible.

Now: Who goes out any longer? Not us. Give us anything on Netflix to binge watch and a bottle or 12 of wine, and we’re good to go. Can you say FriYAY?

4. Playing Wingwoman

In the ’90s: Right after deciding who the like of your lifetime was employing

the almighty cootie catcher, you’d phase a operate-in throughout science course, although your BFF kept other ladies away.

These days: Just about every BFF is aware the way to aid you obtain lasting appreciate: spending 14 hrs trying to find him on Fb with practically nothing but his center identify.

5. Squad Targets

In the ’90s: In essence, lifetime was all about acquiring a few a lot more women as cool as you so you could fake to be the Spice Women.

Now: Well, the superior information is you only need one far more person to do the One Ladies dance,

but you’re not significantly of a people particular person these times, so your BFF is additional than plenty of.

My Teenage Daughter Was Against My Marriage to a New Man, and It Tore Our Family Apart — Story of the Day

Falling in love at 47 was something I never saw coming, especially after the heartbreak of my first marriage. Now, as I prepare to marry John, my teenage daughter, Emilia, is struggling to accept him. Balancing my love for John and my bond with Emilia, I’m faced with difficult choices and unspoken fears.

I never could have imagined that at 47, I would fall in love again, or that I would ever want a relationship after my failed first marriage, which ended 12 years ago.

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney

For a long time, I thought I was done with love. My ex-husband had been horrible to me. He constantly nagged, telling me I wasn’t doing enough around the house, even though I worked just as much as he did.

His words cut deep, especially when he made fun of me for gaining weight after my pregnancy. He didn’t care how hard I was trying or how much I juggled. I knew he was cheating, but I forgave him every time.

I told myself it was for the sake of our family, for our daughter. But when my then 4-year-old Emilia saw him with another woman, something broke inside me. That was the final straw. I couldn’t live like that anymore.

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The only good thing from that marriage is Emilia. She’s my everything—the best thing that ever happened to me. We’ve always been close.

For so long, it was just her and me, like a team against the world. I never thought I needed anyone else until a year ago when John came into my life.

John was different. He made me feel loved and cared for in ways I hadn’t felt in years. He treated Emilia with kindness, like she was his own daughter. Watching the two of them together gave me hope. I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, John could be the father Emilia never had.

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But everything changed after he proposed. Suddenly, Emilia wasn’t the same. She argued with John, with me, and left the house every time he came over. I didn’t understand it, and it broke my heart.

One evening, I sat in the kitchen with John, staring down at my cup of tea. I sighed, feeling the weight of everything. “I don’t know what to do,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

John looked at me, concerned. “Maybe we should start meeting at my place instead?” he suggested.

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I shook my head. “We’re getting married soon. What are we supposed to do, live apart then too?” I sighed again, feeling even more frustrated. “I don’t understand why she’s acting like this.”

John leaned back in his chair, thinking. “She’s jealous, Lucy. It’s been just you and her for so long. Now, you’ve got someone else in your life. Someone who’s taking up your time and love.”

“I guess,” I said. “But you two were fine before. She liked you.”

“That was different,” he replied calmly. “Back then, I was just your boyfriend. Now I’m going to be your husband and her stepfather. That’s a big change for her.”

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I nodded slowly. “You’re right. But I still don’t know what to do.”

John reached for my hand. “Talk to her,” he said softly.

I snorted, trying to hide my nerves. “Talk to a teenage girl? That’s like walking into a fire.”

John smiled. “No, talk to your daughter. She needs you.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, wishing I had the answers.

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The next day, I knew I had to talk to Emilia. I stood outside her door for a moment before knocking. “Come in,” she said, sounding annoyed. I could almost hear her eyes rolling.

I stepped inside, feeling nervous, and sat down on the edge of her bed. She looked at me, waiting for me to speak. “I wanted to talk to you,” I said.

Emilia raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I know it’s probably hard for you, with John becoming part of our family,” I said, trying to meet her gaze.

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She shrugged. “It’s not hard. John’s fine.”

“Then why do you leave every time he comes over?” I asked, keeping my voice calm. “And why do you argue with him?”

“Just because,” she muttered.

I took a deep breath. “Look, just because I love John doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less. You’re my daughter, and—”

She cut me off, her voice rising. “I don’t believe that!” she shouted. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I have homework.”

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Her words stung, but I stood up slowly. “Alright. But if you ever want to talk, you can always come to me. It’s still you and me against the world, remember?”

Emilia didn’t respond. I looked at her for a moment, hoping for something, but she stayed silent. With a heavy heart, I left the room.

As the wedding day got closer, Emilia’s behavior only got worse. Every decision John and I made, she had a problem with. If we liked a caterer, she’d complain about the menu.

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It wasn’t until we chose the one she recommended that the complaints stopped. Picking out my wedding dress became a two-week ordeal, and she insisted on making my bouquet herself.

I thought it was her way of staying involved, but each time she demanded something to be changed, I could feel the tension growing. She had her own dress altered seven times, and John quietly paid for each adjustment.

It wasn’t just the wedding preparations that were exhausting—it was seeing how much pain she was in. I knew she was struggling, but I didn’t know how to help. Her anger felt like a wall between us, and every day, it seemed to grow taller.

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“Maybe we should cancel the wedding,” I said to John one evening, my voice soft.

John looked at me, surprised. “What? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“No, you’re perfect,” I reassured him. “I love you, and that hasn’t changed. It’s just Emilia…”

John nodded, understanding. “This is really hard for her,” he said, confirming what I had feared all along.

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“Yes,” I admitted, finally saying the words out loud. “I thought maybe if we just kept dating, she would come around. She might accept it better if we didn’t rush.”

John took a deep breath and said, “Lucy, I’ll support you no matter what. But this is your life, not Emilia’s. In two years, she’ll be in college, living her own life.”

“I know,” I replied, my chest tightening. “But it hurts to see her struggling like this.”

John reached for my hand. “You’re not alone in this. I’m here for both of you. We’ll figure it out together. I just want to make you both happy.”

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Then he paused as if considering something. “Actually, I’ve been thinking… I’d like to adopt Emilia. If she’s willing, of course. I already see her as my daughter.”

Tears filled my eyes as I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. Somewhere in the hallway, I heard a small noise, but I didn’t pay it much attention. Right now, I was focused on the love and support I had right in front of me.

The wedding day had finally come, and I felt both excited and nervous. I prayed to every god I could think of, hoping everything would go smoothly. But it seemed my prayers went unheard. Just minutes before the ceremony, my friend Kyra hurried into the room, looking worried.

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“Lucy, we have a problem,” she said, her voice tense. My heart sank instantly. “Emilia hasn’t shown up yet.”

“What do you mean, she hasn’t shown up?” I asked, feeling my chest tighten.

“I don’t know,” Kyra said. “She’s not answering her phone or replying to texts.”

Panic rushed through me. I didn’t even think before I bolted out of the room to find John. When I saw him, I blurted out, “Emilia’s gone. She’s disappeared.”

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John stayed calm. “Go find her,” he said with a small smile.

“But the ceremony starts in twenty minutes,” I said, unsure.

“Go,” he repeated, his voice gentle. “This wedding won’t mean anything if Emilia isn’t there.”

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. In that moment, I knew—once again—that I had chosen the right man.

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I had a feeling I knew where Emilia might be. My heart raced as I drove to the old playground we used to visit when she was younger. Sure enough, when I arrived, I spotted her sitting on one of the swings, her head down, gently swaying back and forth. Relief washed over me.

“Hey,” I said as I approached her, trying to keep my voice steady.

Emilia looked up at me, her eyes red and filled with tears. “Mom? What are you doing here? Isn’t your wedding starting soon?”

I sat down on the swing next to her and shook my head. “The ceremony doesn’t matter without you,” I said.

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She wiped her eyes and asked, “How did John take it? Did he leave you?”

“No, he didn’t leave,” I assured her. “He’s the one who sent me to find you. He told me the same thing I just told you—the ceremony won’t mean anything if you’re not there.”

Emilia blinked, surprised. “Really? He said that?”

I nodded. “What’s going on, Emilia? Why are you trying to stop the wedding? I thought you liked John.”

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“It’s not that,” she muttered. “It’s… it’s just that it’s always been you and me. I thought it would always stay that way. What if he leaves us like Dad did? I couldn’t handle that again.”

Hearing her say that made my heart ache. “So that’s what this is about? You’re testing John?”

She sighed, her voice small. “Not on purpose… but maybe.”

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I reached over and took her hand. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to protect me. I’m the one who’s supposed to protect you. And trust me, John isn’t going anywhere. He loves both of us. He even told me he wants to adopt you.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I overheard you two talking about it. That’s why I’m not at the ceremony right now. What if I let him in, and then he just… leaves? I’m scared, Mom.”

I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight. “Oh, baby. I’m scared too. But love is about taking risks. We don’t know the future, but we choose love because it’s worth it.”

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She rested her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know if I’m ready…”

“I get it,” I said softly. “But no matter what, you’ll always have me. No one, not even John, can change that. You and I? We’ve been a team from the start.”

Emilia let out a small laugh. “But now John’s part of the team too…”

I smiled and squeezed her hand. “It’s easier to fight with three of us, don’t you think?”