Your story about Claire and her unexpected reunion with her estranged sister, Emma, is gripping! The blend of emotional tension and family history creates a compelling narrative. Claire’s determination to honor her grandmother’s legacy by renovating the house, alongside the backdrop of unresolved familial conflict, is really powerful.
Here are a few suggestions to enhance the narrative:
1. **Character Development**: Consider diving deeper into Emma’s character. What specific experiences or hardships led her to return? A flashback or brief mention of her life during the estrangement could evoke empathy from readers and provide a more nuanced view of her motivations.
2. **Flashbacks**: You mentioned that Claire was only twelve when Emma left. Incorporating flashbacks could effectively illustrate their childhood bond and the impact of Emma’s departure on the family dynamic. This could heighten the emotional stakes of their confrontation.
3. **Dialogue Nuances**: The dialogue between Claire and Emma is strong, but adding more emotional weight could amplify the tension. Consider using body language and internal thoughts to convey Claire’s conflicted feelings during their exchanges, like how she grapples with nostalgia for their past while feeling betrayed.
4. **Setting the Scene**: You describe the house beautifully, but it might be worthwhile to emphasize how the renovation reflects Claire’s emotional state. For instance, how certain elements of the house symbolize her memories with her grandmother or her desire for a fresh start for her mom.
5. **Climax and Resolution**: The lawyer’s revelation about the inheritance is a great twist. You might want to expand on the aftermath—how does Claire feel about the outcome? Does Emma react differently after the dollar reveal? This could provide closure or set up further developments in their relationship.
Overall, the story is engaging and captures the complexity of family relationships beautifully. Keep up the fantastic work! If you’d like more specific feedback or help with any particular section, feel free to ask!
Born without a nose: This is what Tessa Evans looks like at 10 years old
Tessa Evans, who was born on February 14, 2013, was born without a nose, a rare condition that has sparked admiration and affection from her family and people around the world.
Tessa’s unique condition is known as Bosma Arhinia Microphthalmia Syndrome (BAMS) and there are fewer than 100 documented cases worldwide. Despite the rarity and complexity of her condition, her mother praises Tessa’s “charming” behavior and her “remarkable courage”.
Eight years into her journey, Tessa has become a symbol of resilience. She continues to do well and embrace life to the fullest, despite the challenges presented by her condition, which includes the inability to smell or breathe through her nose.
However, she can still cough, sneeze and catch colds. “It was pretty amusing the first time she sneezed”, recalls her father Nathan, “but we realized it was actually coming from her chest, which was a small but reassuring sign of normality”.
Tessa’s parents, Grainne and Nathan Evans, were stunned when their Valentine’s baby was born without a nose as the pregnancy was uneventful and there were no signs of problems.
A native of Maghera, Ireland, Tessa’s condition required immediate medical intervention. At less than two weeks old, she underwent surgery to insert a tracheostomy tube so she could eat and sleep comfortably.
At just two years old, Tessa achieved a medical milestone when she became the first person to receive a cosmetic nasal implant, marking a significant advance in the field and a remarkable solution to her rare condition.
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