I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
The Volume Buttons On Your Iphone Has Many Hidden Functions
Any device’s full potential may often be unlocked by having a keen eye for the hidden gems beneath the surface; the iPhone’s hidden functions are no different.
Your iPhone has many hidden treasures that are just waiting to be discovered, from iMessage features to brighten every conversation to generation-specific features that maximize the technology in any particular iPhone.
A set of volume buttons is a characteristic that is common to all iPhone models. Unlike many Android phones, which only have one volume button, the iPhone has featured two different volume buttons since its original release.
The two buttons on the left side of the iPhone are used for functions other than volume control.
Like so many other locations, the phone’s buttons can be utilized for non-volume operations in addition to a few useful chores that can be accessed with their assistance.
Whether you’re a photography enthusiast seeking tactile finesse, a safety-conscious person needing quick access to emergency services, or someone who longs to have a physical snooze button again, the iPhone’s volume buttons offer a range of interactions that go far beyond their seemingly straightforward purpose.
When you make an SOS call, your phone notifies your approved emergency contacts of your location and the circumstances using the information you provide in the Medical ID section of the Health app.
With regard to Medical ID, users can store their emergency contacts, allergies, critical medical information, and other details in this function.
In an emergency, anyone can access this information. Even if your phone is locked, the Medical ID is still accessible for first responders’ use.
Switching off the power and more
Beyond emergency services, another important feature of the iPhone could be accessed by briefly depressing the side and volume down keys.
The menu that offers access to Medical ID and the emergency call slider is where you’ll find the power-off slider. Turning off the iPhone is done by using the designated slider.
Users may also use this screen to disable the Find My function on their phone when it is in sleep mode. Just below the power-off slider, there’s a popup to turn off Find My.
Find My Device will no longer work if the device’s setting is disabled through the power off menu; you will need to restart it and enter the passcode again to locate it.
This control layer significantly improves device security by granting users control over their location data even when their phone is off.
However, this feature is more intricate than it seems. Using the volume buttons to access the power-off menu has a security risk. The power off slider displays, briefly deactivating the Face ID and Touch ID functions.
This ensures the gadget can’t be turned off and prevents someone else from being able to forcibly access it when locked.
controls for the camera
Contemporary smartphones are renowned for their capacity to swiftly and effortlessly capture moments, with the iPhone outperforming rival flagship devices in terms of camera capability.
One of the more widely known features of smartphone camera apps is the ability to use volume controls.
While some Android devices allow users to zoom in, the primary purpose of the volume keys on the iPhone is to capture images.
Instead of fumbling with the on-screen shutter button, users may snap instant images by simply pushing the volume up or down button.
This small function mimics the feel of a traditional camera, offering a cozy, tactile experience that some users might find more acceptable.
Moreover, this feature is not limited to shooting photos. To start recording a video, you can also utilize the camera app’s volume buttons.
Because it provides users with control and stability during the process, allowing them to grasp onto the device steadily and capture dynamic footage, this function is very handy for recording video material.
A video recorder’s volume buttons are helpful for purposes other than merely starting a recording. If the iPhone’s camera app is still set up to capture images, you can use either volume button to begin a quick shot movie.
Users merely need to release the button to stop recording. You may also press and hold the volume up button to switch it to “Photo Burst” in the Settings app.
The Notes app’s document scanning feature and the Camera app both utilize the volume buttons for taking photos.
When scanning a document into the iPhone, users do not have to wait for the device to properly frame the document. As an alternative, you can snap a picture of anything that’s visible in the scanner’s viewfinder by pressing either volume button.
With enough time and work, such scans can be edited to appear as precise as what the iPhone can accomplish automatically.
Alarm mechanisms
It can be a surprising habit to turn off the alarm in the morning. Apple has given its users the chance to go back in time to a simpler time when they are trying to snooze their alarm in the morning.
You can immediately stop the alarm when it goes off by using the volume up or down button. This will spare you the trouble of looking for the on-screen button and give you some alone time while you get ready for the day. This method of using the volume controls also applies to vibrating, quiet alarms.
Using the volume buttons to snooze occasionally proves to be more convenient than reaching for the snooze or smaller dismiss button first thing in the morning.
Similar to the snooze button, the volume buttons are likewise simpler to reach in the early morning mist.
Slapping the enormous snooze button on an equally gigantic alarm clock radio combo doesn’t exactly feel the same.
Remember that you must first ensure that snoozing is enabled before using the volume buttons to snooze an alarm.
If the snooze setting is not enabled for an alarm, the volume buttons will simply refuse it. The alarm is programmed to sound again at the next specified time.
Turning off phone calls and locating my
Picture this: a quiet moment or a crucial meeting cut short by a ringing phone. It doesn’t happen very infrequently. It’s simple to periodically forget to switch off your phone or even to switch it back on by accident.
The volume buttons on your iPhone soon create a barrier between you and anyone close and the ringtone you’ve selected when you receive one of these unpleasant robocalls. In far harsher situations, you can use the power button to reject or end a call.
The ringing phone can be muffled with a single press of either volume button. Using the volume button to end an unwanted call makes sense.
Controlling Find My notifications on the iPhone also heavily relies on the volume buttons.
The iPhone uses new buttons to secure your relationships and belongings in a world where those things are vital.
The position of your second Apple device can be found by pressing either volume button quickly to quickly muffle the otherwise loud warning when something close sends out a Find My notification.
As a result, receiving notifications is more manageable.
App features
Despite Apple’s best efforts to stop it, iPhone volume buttons can be utilized as tools for other app interactions.
the inventive usage of volume buttons in non-Apple apps—a feature that is usually free from Apple’s stringent constraints despite its usability.
By using this repurposing, a number of software developers have provided users with instantaneous shortcuts or actions, providing a haptic and seamless alternative to traditional on-screen taps.
One particularly straightforward approach is to utilize a counter app that allows users to tick up or down dependent on whether they use the volume up or down button.
However, employing volume buttons in non-Apple apps is a technique that should be utilized cautiously due to Apple’s app development constraints.
Maintaining a consistent user interface and preventing hardware control abuse—which can possibly mislead users or obstruct normal interactions—are given top attention in these standards.
Apple usually forbids developers from altering the functionality of hardware buttons in their apps as a result.
While some programs are able to effectively integrate volume button functionality while adhering to Apple’s standards, these instances are still quite uncommon due to the challenges these constraints pose.
Not only can developers not modify the behavior of the volume buttons, but users are also not allowed to use the volume buttons to run commands that were developed within the Shortcuts app.
But not everyone has been deterred by that. The volume buttons on your phone can theoretically be used to create shortcuts, but doing so involves using a complicated workaround function that connects an action to the volume.
Restart with force
At some time, everyone has either attempted or heard the sage advise to simply turn their device on and off again. Using the volume buttons to force an iPhone reset is a quick and simple solution in many cases.
When the device becomes unresponsive, sluggish, or has software problems, this can function as a reset to help restore it to a better state.
Users can force a restart by simultaneously pushing and holding the side button, the volume up and down buttons, and the volume down button.
The volume buttons here can be used to reach the shut-down menu, but the iPhone can also be turned off without the need for a slider by holding down the side button.
After turning off their phone, users still need to push and hold the side button down until they see the Apple logo on the screen.
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