In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
He was the first man in the world to give birth – 16 years later, he looks like this
In a groundbreaking moment 16 years ago, Thomas Beatie etched his name in history as the world’s first man to undergo pregnancy.
Born female, Thomas underwent a gender transition, now identifying as a transgender man. The global spotlight shone on him when news broke of his remarkable journey to parenthood with the birth of his first daughter, Susan
In a surprising turn of events in 2006, he halted his testosterone treatment with the aspiration of conceiving. Facing fertility challenges with his then-wife Nancy, Thomas made the courageous decision to carry the child himself.
The iconic image of Thomas Beatie sporting a heavily pregnant belly first circulated in 2008, creating ripples across the world. Media dubbed Beatie “the pregnant man” and news of his story quickly spread worldwide.
Yet, the journey was far from smooth, with hate emails and death threats pouring in from numerous quarters, including established media outlets.
”Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender,” Thomas later said.
During an extensive 48-hour labor, Susan, the first child of Thomas and Nancy, was born into the world healthy and happy. Thomas, determined to opt for a natural birth, defied expectations. His case marked the first documented instance where a legally recognized male gave birth within a marital union with a woman.
Thomas Thomas Trace Beatie
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Over the course of five years without testosterone, Thomas experienced four more pregnancies (one of which resulted in an ectopic pregnancy). Together with his first wife, Nancy, he raised Susan and sons Austin and Jensen, presenting themselves as a traditional family with strong values.
In a significant television debut, Thomas Beatie took center stage with an exclusive hour-long interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show in April 2008. Addressing a global audience, he openly discussed his belief in the reproductive right to bear a child, irrespective of his male gender identity.
During the interview, Beatie emphasized: “It’s not a male or female desire to want to have a child; it’s a human desire. I’m a person, and I have the right to have my own biological child.”
His words echoed a powerful assertion of his personal autonomy and challenged conventional perceptions surrounding gender and parenthood.
In 2016, Thomas entered a new chapter, marrying a new partner, Amber. Despite having known each other since 2012, a tumultuous divorce with Nancy delayed Thomas and Amber’s nuptials.
The couple moved to Oregon with their blended family, consisting of Susan, Austin, Jensen, and Amber’s grandchild Lily.
Reflecting on their bustling household, Thomas shared: “It can get pretty loud with four kids aged 3, 5, 6, and 7, but we love it,” in an interview with Daily Mail.
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Quel rôle est plus convaincant: flic ou maçon? ??? Which look is more convincing?
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Sunday, March 10, 2019
Sixteen years have elapsed since Thomas became a public figure, yet he continues to make occasional appearances on social media and in people’s feeds.
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In a recent interview with USA Today, he shared insights into his current endeavors, revealing that he now works as a stockbroker in Phoenix. He continues to live with his wife Amber, whom he met at the daycare where his children were enrolled.
His older children divide their time between his residence and their mother’s home, located approximately ten miles away.
According to Thomas, he lives a relatively quiet life but once in a while, he does public-speaking jobs and takes on modest acting opportunities.
Looking back on the whirlwind of attention that surrounded him 16 years ago when he graced the front pages, Thomas acknowledged the lasting impact of those significant moments in his life.
à quel métier/rôle j’ai l’air? ?️ What profession or role do I look like?
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Tuesday, May 30, 2023
Reflecting on the past, Thomas, now in his 50s, remarked: “When my story came out, there wasn’t a single person in the public eye as a transgender man — most people had never heard of it.”
”This was pre-Chaz Bono. This was pre-Caitlyn Jenner. This was before anyone knew anything. It was a first exposure for a lot of people. And then on top of that, they can give birth! I think exposing the importance of fertility for trans people was a huge eye-opener.”
”Everything was a whirlwind,” he said. ”But I still don’t regret it,” Thomas shared.
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