When James is on his way home after a swimming competition in London, all he wants is to sleep on the flight. But that’s the last thing on the agenda because sitting next to him is a woman who only wants to cause trouble. Eight hours later, the captain teaches her a lesson.
I was already prepared for the flight. I knew that it was going to be a long one. I mean, eight hours from London to New York was not going to be easy, but I had my earplugs, sleeping pills, and a few snacks to keep me going.
I had just wrapped up a grueling swimming competition, and every muscle in my body was crying for some much-needed rest. I was in the middle seat, which wasn’t ideal for my height, but I was too tired to care. The woman next to me, at the window, seemed just as wiped out as I was, and I could see her eyes drooping before we took off.
We exchanged a weary smile before settling into our seats.
It’s okay, James, I thought to myself. You’ll sleep through it all.
But then there was the woman who was going to be the cause of absolute mayhem and discomfort for the next eight hours.
From the moment she sat down next to me, I sensed that she was going to be trouble. She was huffing and puffing and shifting around like she’d been assigned to a seat in the luggage compartment instead of economy.
“Oh boy,” the window-seat woman sighed.
Aisle-seat woman, let’s call her Karen, kept eyeing me up and down, her mouth twisting into a frown.
Look, I’m a tall guy at six foot two. I was used to getting uncomfortable stares in airplanes, but it wasn’t my fault.
The first sign of trouble came when the plane took off. Karen pressed the call button, not once like any rational person, but three times in a row, like she was setting off an alarm.
I almost expected an alarm to sound off in the airplane.
“Ma’am,” the flight attendant asked when we had reached cruising altitude, “how can I help you?”
“This seat is unacceptable!” Karen snapped. Her voice was loud enough to draw attention from the rows around us.
“I’m cramped, and look at these two… people! They’re practically spilling over into my space.”
She shot a look at me, then at the woman at the window, who was staring straight ahead, pretending not to notice.
“I’m sorry, but we’re fully booked today,” the flight attendant replied. “There’s nowhere else for you to move.”
“You mean that there’s not one seat available on this flight? What about business class? Nothing?” she demanded.
“No, ma’am,” the flight attendant said. “There’s nothing available.”
“Then I want them moved,” Karen declared, louder this time. “I paid for this seat just like everyone else here, and it’s not fair that I have to be squished next to them. I can’t even open a packet of chips without bumping into this guy.”
For emphasis, she elbowed me in the arm.
I glanced over at the woman in the window seat, who looked on the verge of tears. My patience was wearing thin, too, and I couldn’t handle this woman when my energy tank was empty.
“Ma’am,” I said, keeping my voice as calm as I could, “we’re all just trying to get through this flight and get to our destinations. There’s really nothing wrong with the seating arrangements here.”
“Nothing wrong?” Karen barked. “Are you kidding me? Are you blind?”
She continued her rant for what felt like hours. And it was clear she wasn’t going to drop it. I tried to ignore her, but she kept shifting in her seat, kicking my legs, and continuously elbowing my arm.
By the fourth hour, I was cranky and exhausted beyond any other moment in my life. I was done.
“Look,” I said, turning to her as the flight attendant wheeled a cart down the aisle, “we can keep this up for the rest of the flight, or we can try and make the best of a bad situation. Why don’t you watch something on the screen? There are some pretty good movies here.”
But she wasn’t having it at all.
“Why don’t you tell her to go on a diet? And why don’t you learn to book seats that have space for your gigantic legs? Why do you both insist on making my life hell?” Karen hissed.
And the entire time we had been talking, Karen was busy pressing the call button.
I felt my blood boil and watched as the woman sitting next to the window tried to make herself as small as possible.
I could see the flight attendants murmuring amongst themselves, giving Karen dirty looks. If I’m being honest, I was just hoping that one of them would slip her a sedative or something. Finally, a flight attendant came over, looking as upset as I was.
“Ma’am, if you don’t calm down, we’re going to have to ask you to stay seated and not press the call button again, not unless it’s an actual emergency.”
“Oh, this is an emergency!” she shouted. “It’s a human rights violation! My rights are being violated, and everyone is just ignoring that!”
The rest of the flight went on like this, with Karen sighing dramatically, muttering under her breath, and generally making everyone around us miserable.
I just kept my head down and tried to focus on the tiny screen in front of me, tracking our progress home.
When we finally landed, I couldn’t have been any happier if I tried. This nightmare was almost over.
But then, as soon as the wheels touched down, Karen was out of her seat, darting up the aisle as if she was about to miss her connecting flight to Mars. The seatbelt sign was still on, and everyone was sitting patiently, waiting for it to turn off.
But not Karen. No, she was ignoring all the calls from the flight attendants, not even looking back. Soon, she was standing right next to the curtain separating the business-class seats from economy.
The rest of us just watched, too exhausted and frustrated to react.
Then came the captain’s voice over the intercom:
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to New York! We have a special guest onboard today.”
There was a collective groan. What now? Were we supposed to sit there for longer?
“We ask that everyone remain seated as I make my way through the cabin to greet this very special passenger.”
Karen perked up for some reason, her shoulders straightening like she’d just been announced as Miss Universe. She looked around with a self-satisfied smile, as if expecting everyone to applaud her.
When the captain came out of the cockpit, we saw a middle-aged man with a calm demeanor and a tired smile. As he saw Karen, he paused.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” he said. “I need to get past you to greet our special guest.”
“Oh,” she said, looking surprised. “Of course.”
He continued to make her step back down the aisle until they were almost to our row. It was priceless because although she was complying with him, the confusion growing on her face was clear.
“Maybe you should sit down in your seat,” he said.
The rest of us were watching in stunned silence, catching on to what he was doing. I could feel a smile tugging at my lips. The woman next to me was grinning, too.
Finally, the captain stopped at our row, forcing Karen to move into the row and stand at her seat.
The captain looked up at the seat numbers and grinned to himself before speaking.
“Ah, here we are,” he said, his voice booming through the cabin. “Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest is sitting right here in seat 42C. Can we all give her a round of applause?”
For a moment, there was silence. Then someone started clapping, followed by another, and another. Before long, the whole plane erupted into laughter and applause.
The woman’s face turned bright red. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She just stood there, awkward and humiliated, as the captain took a slight bow and returned to the front.
“That,” I said, leaning back in my seat with a satisfied grin, “was worth the eight hours of this torture.”
The rest of us finally gathered our things and filed out, leaving her to stew in her own embarrassment.
“Jeez,” the woman next to me said. “I’m so glad this is over. I don’t ever want to see that woman again. Maybe we’ll end up next to each other on another flight. Without a Karen this time.”
“Here’s hoping,” I said, and for the first time since the flight started, I genuinely laughed.
What would you have done?
What White Tongue Is, and What to Do About It
There are many possible causes for white tongue, and in some cases, it comes with an unpleasant odor and mouth dryness. To get rid of it, sometimes you just need to brush your teeth. But what should you do if that doesn’t help?
❗ This article is for informative purposes only and can’t replace the advice of a specialist.
What white tongue is
The white film may cover the entire tongue, part of it, or appear as spots. At the same time, an unpleasant odor and taste in the mouth may appear. It looks as if there are small white hairs on the tongue’s surface. In fact, they are buds covered with organic particles, bacteria, and dead cells.
White plaque on the tongue (which can also be yellow) may appear for different reasons, like due to irritation or because of an infection. It usually disappears after several days. If the situation doesn’t change for several weeks, and it’s painful to eat and talk, it’s best to see a doctor.
It’s important to note that the plaque may not only be white. While a pink tongue is normal, a brown tongue means the person drinks too much coffee or tea. A yellow tongue means there’s something wrong with the liver, and a red tongue is a sign that the person lacks vitamin B.
Why the tongue becomes white
Usually, the tongue becomes white due to bacteria, leftover bits of food, or dead cells that get stuck in between the buds. Because of this, the buds may increase in size or become inflamed. This is how white spots on the tongue’s surface appear.
Sometimes, the plaque appears due to an illness. For example, the geographic tongue is also a condition where white spots appear on the tongue. It’s quite rare, and the causes are unknown, but the condition itself is often connected to eating foods that irritate the tongue. It may also be a reaction to stress, an illness, or hormonal changes.
Why white plaque appears on the tongue
There are some things that make the appearance of white plaque on the tongue more probable:
- Age
- Taking antibiotics (white-yellow plaque appearing when there’s a fungal infection in the mouth)
- A diet that’s lacking enough fruits, vegetables, vitamin B12, and iron
- A weak immune system
- Bad mouth hygiene
- Dental prosthetics or other objects that can damage the tongue
- Dehydration and mouth dryness
What piercings have to do with white tongue
Right after piercing the tongue, there might be some white film present. This happens because the number of bacteria on the tongue increases, and it’s normal. Antibacterial mouthwash will help you get rid of it. Plus, there might be a ring around the piercings, which is normal too, and it means the tissue is healing.
If the plaque appears due to an injury (including piercings), the healing should take around 1.5 weeks. You should avoid irritants, such as hot, spicy, or sour foods and drinks.
How to get rid of white tongue at home
- Practice good mouth hygiene.
- Drink enough water.
- Brush your teeth using a soft toothbrush.
- Use a mild fluoride toothpaste — one that doesn’t contain sodium lauryl sulfate.
- Use fluoride mouthwash.
- Brush your tongue or use a tongue scraper to remove the white coating.
- Drink cold drinks through a straw.
- Avoid food and drinks that are spicy, salty, acidic, or very hot in temperature.
Who to talk to if you’re worried about your white tongue
- Your dentist can help you remove the white film from the tongue and prescribe medications if needed.
- Your GP can diagnose the tongue, prescribe you certain medications and determine if the white tongue is an indicator of a more serious issue.
What do you do about white tongue?
Preview photo credit Genusfotografen (genusfotografen.se) & Wikimedia Sverige (wikimedia.se) / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0, Martanopue / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0
Leave a Reply