I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
Here’s What a Handshake Symbol on a Parking Space Means
Life is everchanging. It seems to become more chaotic the older we get and the more industrialized we as a society become. So, going into stores or malls isn’t as feasible as it once was. Consequently, online shopping has become more common, and in many cases, is the new normal.
Although online shopping is much more convenient, there are some downsides including the possibility of not getting exactly what you thought you were buying. Additionally, more intense downsides exist, such as safety concerns. To combat some of these concerns and ensure safety, Pembroke, Ontario, a small city in Canada, is using a handshake symbol as a new solution to ensure safety. Their idea, while unconventional, could prove to ensure the safety of thousands of shoppers. If proven successful, Pembroke may transform the way people undertake online shopping.
Handshake Symbols Represent Safety
A handshake symbol is showing up in parking spaces all over the city. Pembroke’s police department, Pembroke OPP, gave a statement regarding the new handshake symbol parking spots. “The purpose of Project Safe Trade is to create a ‘community safety zone’ at an OPP detachment parking lot to facilitate online property transactions,” the OPP said in the news release. “Creating a ‘community safety zone’ is about moving online transactions away from secluded parking lots, personal residences or other areas and bringing them to a public place.”
Parameters of the Project
Amazingly, the handshake symbol spots, called “safe trade spots,” will be available 24 hours a day and will not require appointments. The way these spots work is simple. If you’ve purchased something online but have to pick it up, or pay, in person, the handshake symbol spots become a neutral meeting point. It’s important to note these spots will not be monitored 24 hours a day. This means there will be no police intervention, such as mediation or witnessing a transaction. In contrast, they will have available officers on the scene if a call or complaint is made to the city regarding a criminal matter. The area will be well-lit and conveniently located just off the highway.
Holiday Shopping
With the holidays upon us, things become even more hectic, and people often stop looking into all the transaction details. The handshake symbol spots have been developed in tandem with the holidays. Steph Neufeld, the safety unit’s captain, says, “The local launch of Project Safe Trade comes at an ideal time with the busy holiday season upon us. Online property transactions are ever-increasing and the UOV OPP is proud to be launching a community safety initiative aimed at decreasing offences related to online marketplace transactions,” He continues in the statement, “Collaborative approaches like Project Safe Trade can help to reduce harm and victimization in our communities.”
Going Beyond the Handshake Symbol
The handshake symbol parking lots are a great start, but there is more the city has incorporated into the project. In particular, one Canadian resident and professional. Carmi Levy, a technology analyst, offers helpful hints. While seemingly obvious, they can be forgotten during an overwhelming time like the holidays.
Levy said, “Do your due diligence on the person that claims to be selling it. Look into their background, see what other things they’ve sold, look for information on how other buyers have dealt with them in the past.” Also suggesting people, “Insist on seeing the actual device that you’re buying before you hand over any money. Insist that they power it on. Insist that you make sure it works before you pay for it.” This is a great way to avoid being scammed and wasting your hard-earned money on something that just isn’t worth it.
Other Safety Suggestions
Other recommendations include going with someone you know and trust when engaging in online transactions. Save all interactions between buyer and seller, this includes voicemails, emails, or text messages. Additionally, shopping apps like ‘OfferUp’ and ‘LetGo’ tell you they won’t reach out for personal information. They suggest you use caution when doling out personal information with limited or only necessary information.
Furthermore, they suggest that you have those conversations strictly in the app. This ensures the conversation is logged in a secure environment so you can avoid giving your personal information to a stranger. For Canadian residents, specific to the Pembroke area, seeking handshake symbol parking lots can keep citizens safe this holiday season. Moreover, they can help bring higher levels of safety in years to come.
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