Breakups are never easy. They bring a whirlwind of emotions, self-reflection, and sometimes, heart-wrenching pain. While it’s commonly believed that women are more emotional during a breakup, recent studies suggest that men may actually experience more emotional distress than women.
Why is that? The answer lies in a mix of psychological, societal, and emotional factors that shape how men handle breakups. Let’s dive into the reasons why breakups tend to hit men harder and what they can do to recover.
Men and Emotional Vulnerability: A Silent Struggle
From a young age, men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions. Society teaches them that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. While women are encouraged to express their feelings and seek support, men are more likely to bottle up their emotions.
This emotional suppression can be damaging. When a breakup happens, men might not have a strong support system in place to help them process the pain. Many men rely on their romantic partners as their primary emotional support, so when that relationship ends, they often feel lost and alone.
Without an outlet to talk about their feelings, men may struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression—sometimes much more intensely than women.
Societal Expectations: The Pressure to “Man Up”
One of the biggest reasons men struggle with breakups is the pressure to “man up” and move on quickly. Society often expects men to show emotional resilience, discouraging them from expressing grief or sadness.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek comfort from friends, discuss their emotions, and actively work through their pain. Men, however, are often expected to act as if nothing has happened.
This need to maintain a tough exterior can prolong the healing process. Instead of working through their emotions, men might turn to distractions like excessive work, alcohol, or rebound relationships—only to find that the pain resurfaces later.
Why Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men
Men and women often approach relationships differently. While women tend to build multiple sources of emotional support through friendships and family, men frequently rely on their romantic partners as their main source of emotional intimacy.
When that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a girlfriend or wife—it’s the loss of a best friend, a confidant, and sometimes, their only emotional support system.
This can make the breakup feel like a double hit, leaving men struggling not only with heartbreak but also with a deep sense of emotional isolation.
Delayed Grief: Why Men Take Longer to Heal
Men and women grieve breakups differently. Women tend to feel the emotional pain more intensely at first, but they also process it faster by talking about it and seeking closure.
Men, however, often delay confronting their emotions. Instead of immediately processing the pain, they may distract themselves with work, hobbies, or casual relationships. But unresolved feelings don’t just disappear—they resurface later, sometimes in the form of depression, anxiety, or a lingering sense of emptiness.
This delayed emotional response can make breakups more painful for men in the long run, prolonging the healing process.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Breakup Pain
Attachment styles—the way people form emotional bonds—also play a role in how men experience breakups. Studies suggest that men are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style, meaning they struggle with emotional closeness but still feel deeply affected when a relationship ends.
This paradox can make breakups especially painful for men. On one hand, they may try to act indifferent and suppress their feelings. On the other hand, they might secretly feel heartbroken and unable to move on.
Women, by contrast, are more likely to have secure or anxious attachment styles, making them more willing to process and express their emotions.
Men Tend to Romanticize Past Relationships
Another reason men may suffer more after a breakup is that they often romanticize their past relationships. Instead of focusing on why the relationship ended, they tend to idealize the good times and overlook the problems.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to process a breakup by analyzing what went wrong. This approach helps them gain clarity and move forward.
For men, however, this nostalgia can trap them in a cycle of regret and longing, making it even harder to let go and heal.
The Physical Impact of Breakups on Men
Breakups don’t just affect emotional health—they take a toll on physical health as well. Research suggests that men are more likely than women to experience:
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
- Changes in appetite (weight loss or gain)
- Weakened immune system (higher stress levels, increased risk of illness)
- Risky behaviors (drinking, smoking, reckless behavior)
Since men are less likely to seek emotional support, the stress of a breakup can manifest physically, leading to long-term health problems.
Why Women Heal Faster
Women tend to have healthier coping mechanisms when dealing with a breakup. They are more likely to:
- Talk about their emotions with friends and family
- Seek professional help like therapy or counseling
- Engage in self-care routines, like exercise or journaling
- Reflect on the relationship to understand what went wrong
These strategies allow women to process their emotions faster, helping them heal and move on more effectively than men.
Men, on the other hand, often suppress their pain and avoid dealing with it head-on, which ultimately prolongs their suffering.
How Men Can Heal After a Breakup
If breakups tend to hit men harder, what can they do to heal faster and move forward?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Accept your emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can help release pent-up emotions.
- Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise, eat well, and maintain a healthy routine to keep both your mind and body in check.
- Stay Busy, But Don’t Avoid Healing – Engaging in new hobbies or activities is great, but don’t use them as an escape from your emotions.
- Reflect and Grow – Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience.
Healing takes time, but taking proactive steps can make the journey smoother and more empowering.
Conclusion: The Emotional Reality of Breakups for Men
While breakups are painful for everyone, men often struggle more due to emotional suppression, societal expectations, and a lack of support systems. Their tendency to avoid emotions, romanticize past relationships, and delay grief can make the healing process more challenging.
However, understanding these factors can pave the way for healthier coping strategies. By embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, men can heal and emerge stronger from a breakup.
At the end of the day, heartbreak is a painful but transformative experience. It’s not just about losing someone—it’s about rediscovering yourself, learning from the past, and preparing for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
The sultry Heather Thomas of ‘The Fall Guy’ struggled with addiction – but look at her now, at 66
Known for her starring role opposite Lee Majors in The Fall Guy, Heather Thomas–who turned 66 on September 8–was poised for a hugely success Hollywood career.
But when the actor’s mother showed up on set after the show’s finale was filmed, the gorgeous blonde rushed to hospital, believing that her father had an emergency.
The family and friends who greeted her at the Santa Monica hospital let her know that her dad, Leon, was fine, and that it was her who had their concerns.
This was just the beginning of a new journey for the then 28-year-old woman, whose personal life and career completely transformed after that visit to the hospital.
Keep reading to find out what happened to the former pinup girl of the 1980s!
Gifted with the talent and natural movie star beauty that rivalled Farrah Fawcett and Heather Locklear, Heather Thomas did what she was born to do.
Playing Jody Banks, a stuntwoman-bounty hunter on the popular action show, Thomas was adored by the male population who viewed her as a sex symbol, a title which she admits to having mixed feelings.
“There’s obligatory condescension that goes with that,” Thomas told People. “You fill that archetype, the blonde bimbo. But at that point, I was just having fun.”
Unfortunately, she was having too much fun with the inclusion of drugs, a habit that started before her role as Jody Banks.
Her substance use dates to the sixth grade when she started using drugs to maintain steady top grades. Thomas said, “I was taking acid and making straight A’s. I just thought it was mind expanding.”
As her mind evolved from child to adult, so did the drugs she consumed.
At UCLA Thomas started using cocaine and in 1981, one year into her role on The Fall Guy, her drug problems escalated.
Also, feeling like she had to live up with her sex symbol title, the 5-foot-7 Thomas became obsessed with weight, and started taking Lasix, a diuretic that can cause severe lethargy.
To counteract the lethargy, she took more cocaine for a burst of energy.
“At first I was in a honeymoon stage with the drug. I felt that I was getting a lot for my money. It enabled me to stay up all night and then work all the next day,” she said, claiming that she never used cocaine on set. “Cocaine is not approved of on sets. It’s not clubby to do it anymore. It is just a private hell.”
Contrary to her claims, a source close to the actor told People that her drug use was derailing her career. “Word was out on Heather,” the source said. “People knew she had a problem.”
Thomas dropped from 125 to 105 pounds and was falling asleep between takes. Thomas admitted, “Sometimes I was in a minicoma.”
And then she passed out in front of Majors, who called her manager, who called her mother.
When the series finale of The Fall Guy wrapped, her mom, Gladdy Ryder–a former special education teacher–appeared on the set and told her daughter that her father was in hospital.
Rushing to St. John’s Hospital, the author of “Trophies” was greeted by family and friends who were ready to see her admitted into the hospital’s three-week drug program.
“It was a big relief to me,” Thomas said of that day, adding that when she checked into detox, she had pneumonia, scarred lungs and inflamed kidneys. “I’d been on a roller coaster and I wanted to get off. If my family hadn’t intervened, I probably would have gone on my merry way until I lost my job or I died.”
She added, “…The doctors said I should have been dead three years ago.”
Committed to recovery, Thomas surrounded herself with like-minded people who would benefit her goals of being drug-free. That was when Thomas, 28 at the time, met and married Allan Rosenthal, the co-founder of Cocaine Anonymous, whom she divorced in September 1986.
The same month, she suffered serious injuries to both legs when she was struck by a car while crossing the street.
After detox, divorce and surgery repair major damage in one of her legs, Thomas returned to work with smaller roles in TV series. She can also be seen in films like in Cyclone in 1987 and the 1990 Canadian film Red Blooded American Girl with Christopher Plummer.
With her troubles behind her, Thomas started new in the 1990s and while trying to revive her career, she married entertainment lawyer Skip Brittenham in 1992. Taking on the new role as the stepmother to his two daughters, Kristina and Shauna, Thomas also gave birth to her only biological child, daughter India Rose who was born in June 2000.
“So when I had about 45 restraining orders out, and I was on everything from a toilet seat cover to an ashtray–and I was in love, and [then] had two little girls–I decided to give it up and write for a while,” she told Reuters.
In 2017, Heather made a brief comeback in the movie Girltrash: All Night Long, one of her 26 acting credits in her career.
Focused mostly on writing, the Zapped! actor said it wasn’t a lack of roles that drove her from acting, but the stalkers who persistently breached her privacy.
“I was getting so stalked. I had one guy climb over the fence with a knife one time. I had these two little girls and they desperately needed raising so that was that. But I think now I have gotten so old that people won’t bother me much.”
Thomas is also now involved as an activist and formerly served on the board for the Rape Foundation and Amazon Conservation Team.
Identifying as a feminist–a duplicitous title for a former sex symbol–Thomas explained the power of both.
“When I was young, I did what people told me to do but when I was older, I didn’t compromise myself. I wanted power and freedom. This gave me a house and the notoriety to get into the door. There is nothing horrible in letting people see your body. I don’t think I betrayed myself. I don’t think being a feminist means you should be ashamed of your body,” she said.
It’s really sad that Heather Thomas was unable to revive her career in acting again but we’re happy that she got the help she needed and is now in a lifelong journey of recovery.
There are so many wonderful shows of the 1980s and we loved seeing her in the role of Jody Banks in The Fall Guy with the Six Million Dollar Man Lee Majors!
We’d love to hear what you have to say about Thomas and her recovery!
Known for her starring role opposite Lee Majors in The Fall Guy, Heather Thomas–who turned 66 on September 8–was poised for a hugely success Hollywood career.
But when the actor’s mother showed up on set after the show’s finale was filmed, the gorgeous blonde rushed to hospital, believing that her father had an emergency.
The family and friends who greeted her at the Santa Monica hospital let her know that her dad, Leon, was fine, and that it was her who had their concerns.
At only 14 the girl hosted an NBC series called Talking with a Giant, a show where she and four other teens interviewed celebrities.
Wanting to take her career to the next level–as an actor, director and writer–Thomas, now 66, then studied film and theater at UCLA, and the year before she graduated, she appeared in the short-lived comedy series, Co-Ed Fever (1979).
Heather Locklear and Heather ThomasPosted by Back to 80s on Saturday, June 5, 2021
In 1980, the Connecticut-born actor won her first leading role in the TV series, The Fall Guy, playing the sidekick to Lee Majors, who in the 1970s, gained global recognition for his performance as Steven Austin in The Six Million Dollar Man.
Playing Jody Banks, a stuntwoman-bounty hunter on the popular action show, Thomas was adored by the male population who viewed her as a sex symbol, a title which she admits to having mixed feelings.
“There’s obligatory condescension that goes with that,” Thomas told People. “You fill that archetype, the blonde bimbo. But at that point, I was just having fun.”
Unfortunately, she was having too much fun with the inclusion of drugs, a habit that started before her role as Jody Banks.
Her substance use dates to the sixth grade when she started using drugs to maintain steady top grades. Thomas said, “I was taking acid and making straight A’s. I just thought it was mind expanding.”
As her mind evolved from child to adult, so did the drugs she consumed.
At UCLA Thomas started using cocaine and in 1981, one year into her role on The Fall Guy, her drug problems escalated.
Also, feeling like she had to live up with her sex symbol title, the 5-foot-7 Thomas became obsessed with weight, and started taking Lasix, a diuretic that can cause severe lethargy.
To counteract the lethargy, she took more cocaine for a burst of energy.
“At first I was in a honeymoon stage with the drug. I felt that I was getting a lot for my money. It enabled me to stay up all night and then work all the next day,” she said, claiming that she never used cocaine on set. “Cocaine is not approved of on sets. It’s not clubby to do it anymore. It is just a private hell.”
Contrary to her claims, a source close to the actor told People that her drug use was derailing her career. “Word was out on Heather,” the source said. “People knew she had a problem.”
Thomas dropped from 125 to 105 pounds and was falling asleep between takes. Thomas admitted, “Sometimes I was in a minicoma.”
And then she passed out in front of Majors, who called her manager, who called her mother.
When the series finale of The Fall Guy wrapped, her mom, Gladdy Ryder–a former special education teacher–appeared on the set and told her daughter that her father was in hospital.
Rushing to St. John’s Hospital, the author of “Trophies” was greeted by family and friends who were ready to see her admitted into the hospital’s three-week drug program.
“It was a big relief to me,” Thomas said of that day, adding that when she checked into detox, she had pneumonia, scarred lungs and inflamed kidneys. “I’d been on a roller coaster and I wanted to get off. If my family hadn’t intervened, I probably would have gone on my merry way until I lost my job or I died.”
She added, “…The doctors said I should have been dead three years ago.”
Committed to recovery, Thomas surrounded herself with like-minded people who would benefit her goals of being drug-free. That was when Thomas, 28 at the time, met and married Allan Rosenthal, the co-founder of Cocaine Anonymous, whom she divorced in September 1986.
The same month, she suffered serious injuries to both legs when she was struck by a car while crossing the street.
After detox, divorce and surgery repair major damage in one of her legs, Thomas returned to work with smaller roles in TV series. She can also be seen in films like in Cyclone in 1987 and the 1990 Canadian film Red Blooded American Girl with Christopher Plummer.
With her troubles behind her, Thomas started new in the 1990s and while trying to revive her career, she married entertainment lawyer Skip Brittenham in 1992. Taking on the new role as the stepmother to his two daughters, Kristina and Shauna, Thomas also gave birth to her only biological child, daughter India Rose who was born in June 2000.
“So when I had about 45 restraining orders out, and I was on everything from a toilet seat cover to an ashtray–and I was in love, and [then] had two little girls–I decided to give it up and write for a while,” she told Reuters.
In 2017, Heather made a brief comeback in the movie Girltrash: All Night Long, one of her 26 acting credits in her career.
Focused mostly on writing, the Zapped! actor said it wasn’t a lack of roles that drove her from acting, but the stalkers who persistently breached her privacy.
“I was getting so stalked. I had one guy climb over the fence with a knife one time. I had these two little girls and they desperately needed raising so that was that. But I think now I have gotten so old that people won’t bother me much.”
Thomas is also now involved as an activist and formerly served on the board for the Rape Foundation and Amazon Conservation Team.
Identifying as a feminist–a duplicitous title for a former sex symbol–Thomas explained the power of both.
“When I was young, I did what people told me to do but when I was older, I didn’t compromise myself. I wanted power and freedom. This gave me a house and the notoriety to get into the door. There is nothing horrible in letting people see your body. I don’t think I betrayed myself. I don’t think being a feminist means you should be ashamed of your body,” she said.
It’s really sad that Heather Thomas was unable to revive her career in acting again but we’re happy that she got the help she needed and is now in a lifelong journey of recovery.
There are so many wonderful shows of the 1980s and we loved seeing her in the role of Jody Banks in The Fall Guy with the Six Million Dollar Man Lee Majors!
We’d love to hear what you have to say about Thomas and her recovery!
If you just took a walk down memory lane, step back in time again and read about the iconic model Twiggy – and press here to see how she looks today, at 73.
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