I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.
The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.
I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”
One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”
My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”
My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.
The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”
My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
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If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
I overheard my husband asking our 4-year-old son not to tell me what he saw – Days later, I uncovered the shocking truth myself
After four miscarriages and plenty of plain to overcome, Paige and her husband, Victor, finally welcomed a child in their life.
The two were a great couple who knew what worked for them and what didn’t. After every miscarriage, Victor assured Paige that everything would be all right eventually, and that if they couldn’t have a baby of their own, they could always consider other options. His words were always comforting.
When baby Mason was welcomed into the world, it felt like all those shattered dreams had finally pieced themselves together. He became the center of his parents’ lives and they put him above everything else, including their careers.
Being a chief executive with a clothing brand, Paige needed to travel a lot because she was involved in every step of the product designs.
This didn’t bother her much because she knew Victor was a wonderful father who took great care of their child whenever she was away from home.
When Mason turned four, Paige knew he was about to enter pre-school soon so she decided to limit her work trips in order to be able to spend more time with him.
One time, Paige was away from home for three days, and once her work was done, she was eager to get home to her family and give her son a hug. Little did she know that this time would be different.
As she entered, the house was strangely quiet, with faint shuffling noises coming from upstairs.
Victor’s voice was hushed but urgent — the same urgency that Mason associated with misbehavior and bedtime.
“Buddy, you’ve got to promise me one thing, okay?” Victor said.
“Okay,” Mason muttered innocently. “What is it?”
“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t tell Mom what you saw.”
“But I don’t like secrets,” Mason said. “Why can’t I tell Mommy?”
Victor let out a deep sigh — its echo seemed to ripple through the house, as if carried by the air.
“It’s not a secret, Mason,” he said. “But if we tell Mommy, it’s going to make her sad. Do you want Mommy to be sad, buddy?”
“No, I don’t,” Mason answered.
At that moment, pretending she didn’t hear a thing, Paige yelled, “Mason! Victor! Mom’s home!”
“What’s going on?” she asked, as Mason leaped into her arms.
“Nothing, honey,” Victor said, winking. “Just a boys’ chat. Welcome home.”
Since Victor was the perfect husband and father, Paige tried to convince herself that the conversation she overheard was truly nothing important. She thought to herself that Victor probably gave Mason too many sweets or let him eat junk food, and that’s what they tried to hide from her.
However, letting it go seemed harder that she thought.
The week that followed and the trip she had to take were both a blessing and a curse for Paige. As much as she loved her job, the thought of leaving Mason saddened her profoundly. She only found solace in the photos Victor sent her, and one of those photos brought more questions than answers.
In one of the photos showing Mason playing with his toys, Paige spotted blue shows she had never seen before. They weren’t hers, yet they were there in her living room.
Paige decided to scroll through each of the photos Victor has ever sent her, and she did find more evidence of someone being in their home while she was away. Was it a nanny he hired to take care of their son? If yes, she had a very expensive taste.
This time, Paige decided to return home without telling Victor. She wanted to surprise him.
Once home from her trip, she entered straight to Mason’s room who had just woken up and was rubbing his eyes.
“Dad’s not downstairs?” she asked, as she could hear noises coming from the bedroom. “Mommy, don’t go in there. You’ll be sad,” Mason warned her.
In the bedroom, Victor was in bed with another woman. “Paige!” he exclaimed, sitting up in bed. “It’s not what you think!”
“Do I look that stupid?”
The woman took her clothes and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
The ensuing confrontation was a whirlwind of tears, accusations, and heartbreak. Victor attempted to deny everything, relying on his charm. Paige knew that if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she might have fallen for his lies.
“I have nothing else to say to you,” Paige said.
“What did you expect, Paige?” Victor asked.
The woman fled the house and Paige was left to confront the man she no longer knew.
“You’re never here,” he lashed out. “You’re never around. And when you’re home, you spend all your time on Mason or working. What about me?”
He tried to portray himself as a victim. “I need human contact, too,” he said. “And I don’t know what you get up to when you’re flying all over the country. I bet you’ve got stories, too.”
“No, Victor,” she said. “I’m not you. My vows meant something to me.”
Eventually, Paige asked Victor to move out and filed for divorce. Reflecting on that conversation between him and Mason that she had overheard, Paige realized the signs were always there, but she tried to ignore them because she only saw the good in her soon to be ex-husband.
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