his Is How I Won a Prank War My Neighbor and I Had Going for the past Year
It started off innocently enough. Selene parked her car in the wrong parking spot, fueling a prank war with Paul, the real owner of the parking spot. As the months went by, the pair continued their prank war, but Selen started to wonder about the future of these seemingly innocent practical jokes. She took matters into her own hands and asked Paul out for dinner, under the guise of someone else. Will it be the ultimate prank or something more?
It all began with a parking mishap. It was just one innocent mistake that spiraled into a year-long prank war with my neighbor, Paul.
An apartment building parking lot | Source: Unsplash
One evening, I accidentally parked in Paul’s parking spot in our apartment building’s lot. It was late, I was exhausted, and I just wanted to crawl into bed.
I didn’t think much of it until the next morning when I was on my way to the office. There, on my car, on an empty takeaway cup, a note was scrawled in messy handwriting.
A woman sleeping in bed | Source: Pexels
Thanks for ruining my day.
“Oh, crap,” I said to myself when I sat in the car. I needed to make amends.
A woman sitting in a car | Source: Pexels
The following morning, I left a warm cup of coffee on Paul’s car roof with a note that read:
Sorry for the mix-up. I hope this makes up for it.
A person holding a cup of coffee | Source: Pexels
If you’re wondering, Paul and I didn’t know each other. We just lived in the same apartment block and knew everyone’s names and door numbers.
A few days later, I found a bill from a car-washing service under my windshield wiper. It seemed that Paul didn’t notice the coffee that I left and spilled it all over his car when he drove off.
A car in a car wash | Source: Pexels
I refused to pay the bill, and thus, the little war began.
“I think that you and this mysterious Paul are either going to fall in love or end up despising each other,” my friend Daphne said at work.
A smiling woman holding a folder | Source: Pexels
“Probably the latter,” I said. “It was all fine until he gave me a bill.”
“Selene,” she said knowingly, “I’m telling you, this is just the beginning.”
The next day, I left my work phone number on his car.
Call me regarding the payment.
A piece of paper on a car | Source: Midjourney
Paul called me later that evening.
“Really? You thought that leaving coffee on the roof of a car was a good idea?” he asked, going straight into it.
“How was I supposed to know that you’d drive off without looking? Besides, it was a peace offering!”
A man using a phone | Source: Unsplash
“More like a disaster,” he said. “It was all over my window. Pay the car wash bill, please.”
“I’m not paying for it,” I said, hanging up.
After that, the pranks escalated quickly.
Spilled coffee in the air | Source: Pexels
“I told you,” Daphne said when she came home with me one evening. “It’s going to get more intense. You need to listen to me. Trust me on this, you and this guy are going to get under each other’s skin.”
“I don’t know about that, Daph,” I said, dishing out the curry we had bought for dinner.
Bowls of curry and rice | Source: Unsplash
“But you’re having fun?” she asked, tearing into a piece of bread.
“I am!” I said. “Mainly because it’s nothing serious.”
Flatbread on a board | Source: Pexels
One day, I found my car doors wrapped in plastic wrap.
The next week, I retaliated by covering Paul’s car in sticky notes, each one asking him to fix his parking.
A person tearing through plastic wrap | Source: Pexels
“If it rains tonight,” Paul said, immediately calling me after seeing the sticky notes, “you’ll have a mushy mess of paper to clean up.”
“I think you’ll figure it out for yourself,” I said, hiding behind my curtain.
A car covered in sticky notes | Source: Midjourney
I had to admit, I was attracted to him. I didn’t know if Paul knew who I was, but it was easier for me to watch him from my apartment. I had gotten used to watching him wash his car.
It turned out that it was comforting. There was a sense of intimacy that we had built up.
A person hiding behind blinds | Source: Unsplash
After months of back-and-forth pranks, ranging from balloons tied onto car handles and window wipers, to fake parking tickets, I decided that it was time to end the war.
“But you need a grand finale,” Daphne said as we sat in our office, trying to work through month-end reports.
A woman using a laptop | Source: Pexels
“Like what?” I asked, typing away at my keyboard.
“You’re into him, right?” she asked, sipping her coffee.
“I think so,” I said. “But I don’t know much about him.”
A woman drinking coffee | Source: Pexels
“Then get to know him,” my friend pressed on. “There’s something there; if not, this would have ended a long time ago.”
“Fine,” I said. “But you write the note. He knows my handwriting now.”
We intended to write a note from a secret admirer.
A person writing a note | Source: Pexels
“She can just be someone from your apartment,” Daphne said. “And it’s not like you and Paul have even interacted in person, Selene. To be honest, I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay anonymous for so long.”
“It’s the thrill of it,” I said.
A smiling woman | Source: Unsplash
Early the next morning, I left the note that Daphne had written on Paul’s car.
Hey, I saw you leaving your car and couldn’t help but notice how handsome you are. Let’s have dinner?
I added my personal number that he wouldn’t recognize at the bottom.
A folded piece of paper | Source: Midjourney
To my surprise, Paul called me later that morning.
“Selene, you’ll never guess what happened!” he said excitedly. “Some woman left me a note on my car.”
“Really?” I asked, feigning surprise. “What did it say?”
A woman on the phone | Source: Pexels
“She said that I was handsome and she wanted to have dinner. She left her number, too. So, I’m going to text her and go.”
Paul took the bait and texted me. We set up a date, and I, still pretending to be someone else, agreed to meet him at a local restaurant.
A table at a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
I was already seated, suddenly nervous. We had been at this for so long; what if everything blew up in my face?
What if I was living in a romantic comedy and Paul actually couldn’t stand me?
Almost ready to leave, Paul walked into the restaurant.
A man in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, you’re here! You look familiar,” he said. “But I suppose I have seen you around the building.”
He spoke quickly, as though he was just as nervous.
“I’m sure that’s exactly it,” I said, smiling.
A smiling man | Source: Pexels
“Your voice reminds me of my neighbor, Selene. I’m sure you’ve seen us pranking each other recently,” he chuckled, his eyes glazing over as if lost in a memory.
“What’s that been like?” I asked.
A smiling woman at a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
“Well, Daphne,” he said, as I had introduced myself over text, “it’s been hilarious. It’s been the best few months of my life.”
“It sounds like she’s grown on you,” I said, smiling.
“She’s feisty, all right,” he said, ordering himself a whiskey.
A man holding a glass of whiskey | Source: Pexels
The rest of the evening went by smoothly, but the more Paul spoke, the more I found myself genuinely enjoying his company. He was charming, funny, and surprisingly sweet.
By the time our meals arrived, I couldn’t keep the truth from him any longer.
Plates of food at a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
“Paul,” I said, picking up my cocktail, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What’s that?” he asked, looking me in the eye.
“I haven’t been very honest about this date,” I said slowly. “I’m Selene.”
A cocktail on a table | Source: Pexels
Paul’s jaw dropped.
“Wait, really?” he asked. “Why did you want to meet like this?”
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “Call it insecurity? Daphne is my best friend; I asked her to write the note, and I used her name. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have deceived you.”
A shocked man | Source: Pexels
“No, no,” he said, a large smile forming on his face. “I’ve never had this much fun with anyone. I’m glad we got to meet. Finally.”
The rest of the evening went much smoother, knowing that we had something in common. It was something to bond over. And more than that, there was chemistry between us. It wasn’t just me.
“I’m glad we did this,” Paul said as we went our separate ways in the parking lot. “It needed to happen.”
An empty parking lot | Source: Pexels
“And now, we’re here,” I said, taking his hand, suddenly feeling brave.
I don’t know where our relationship will go or what it will become, but I do know that I’ve taken the first step toward something.
What would you have done?
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
My Husband Made a Schedule to ‘Improve’ Me as a Wife — I Taught Him a Valuable Lesson Instead
I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
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