I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
You Won’t Believe What Happened to Phoebe Cates After ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’!
Phoebe Cates starred in many movies, such as “Gremlins” and “Drop Dead Fred,” but she is best known for her famous pool scene in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” from 1982.
However, Phoebe Cates left Hollywood more than 20 years ago. Nowadays, she has a regular job that she really enjoys.
Phoebe Belle Cates was born on July 16, 1963, in New York City. When she was a young girl, she went to private schools and studied ballet at Juilliard.
Acting was a big part of Phoebe’s family. Her father, Joe Cates, was a producer and director, her uncle was the president of the Director’s Guild, her brother used to be an actor, and her sister, Valerie, worked in theater.
Phoebe wanted to be a dancer when she was younger, but she had to stop after a knee injury.
At 14, Phoebe Cates started modeling and did pretty well. She was even on the cover of Seventeen magazine four times. But she didn’t really enjoy it and wanted to try something new.
“It was just the same thing, over and over. After a while, I did it solely for the money,” Phoebe said about her short modeling career.
One night, at a party at New York’s famous Studio 54, she met her film agent. After that, she trained with Robert Ravan, who founded The Actors’ Circle in New York.
“I just knew that I didn’t want to go to college. I thought if I could get a few movie roles, it would be a great way to avoid college. Seriously, it’s true,” Phoebe told The Daily Item in 1985.
Phoebe also trained with Alice Spivack at the H.B. Studios. She made her acting debut in 1982, playing Sarah in “Paradise.” Less than a year later, she starred in “Experienced” and then “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” which featured the famous swimming pool scene.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” was a big hit with teenagers and became an important part of pop culture. It’s especially famous for one scene that Rolling Stone magazine called “the most memorable bikini-drop in cinema history.”
As a friend of mine said, that scene made a lot of teenage boys’ hearts beat faster than they should have!
In 1982, Phoebe shared her thoughts on acting. “In this business, if a girl wants a career, she has to be willing to strip. If you’ve got a good body, then why not show it?” she said.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” had an impressive cast, including future stars like Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Eric Stoltz, and Forest Whitaker.
Jennifer Jason Leigh reflected on the film, saying, “Well, it was a funny thing because we were all so young when we made it. Then it came out and was this big hit. You’d go to the theater, and people would say the lines along with it. People had obviously seen the movie over and over again,” she told The Daily News.
Later on, Phoebe continued working in theater and starred in “Private School” as Christine Ramsey in 1983. She also co-starred in Steven Spielberg’s “Gremlins” in 1984.
Phoebe met Kevin Kline, a well-known theater actor, while auditioning for the 1983 film “The Big Chill.” Although she didn’t get the role, she did meet her future husband.
Kevin was 16 years older than Phoebe, but they didn’t start dating until two years after they first met. Kevin hired Phoebe’s former assistant and asked for help to ask Phoebe out.
In 1989, Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline got married in New York City when she was 25 and he was 41. They had their first child, Owen Joseph, in 1991 and their daughter, Greta Simone, in 1994.
By 2017, the couple had been married for 27 years, and many people wondered how they stayed so happy together for so long. “We take care of the marriage,” Kline said.
Although Phoebe was successful, she decided to step away from acting after having their children. In the 1990s, she gradually left the entertainment industry.
In 1998, Phoebe told Playboy that she and her husband had agreed to alternate their acting jobs so that their children would always have one parent at home.
Kevin Kline mentioned that even when it was Phoebe Cates’ turn to work, she often chose to stay home with their children. Although she did some acting occasionally, she was more often seen with her husband at red-carpet events, as he continued acting regularly.
In 2005, Phoebe opened a store called Blue Tree near Carnegie Hall. The store sells fragrances, clothing, and gifts.
Phoebe dedicated herself to running the store full-time, often working there personally or searching for new products to sell. Today, you can visit her store at 1283 Madison Avenue in New York City, located on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, where she also lives.
And just so you know, Phoebe still looks amazing!
What do you think of when you hear Phoebe Cates’ name? I always thought she was a pretty good actress, but the first things that come to mind are her shower scene in the cave in “Paradise” and the bikini scene in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
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