The underwear of my neighbor turned into the star of a suburban farce, stealing the show directly outside my son’s 8-year-old window. Jake’s innocent question about whether her thongs were slingshots made me realize that the “panty parade” needed to end and that it was time to teach her some prudence when doing the laundry.
Oh, suburbia: a place where everything seems perfect, the air filled with the scent of freshly cut grass, and life goes on without incident until someone changes everything. At that point, Lisa, our new neighbor, showed up. Everything had been rather quiet until wash day, when I saw something for the first time that had caught me off guard: a rainbow of her panties flapping outside Jake’s window like flags at a dubious parade.I nearly choked on my coffee one afternoon while folding Jake’s superhero underwear and happened to look out the window. And there they were, lacy and blazing pink and very much on show. Ever the inquisitive child, my son glanced over my shoulder and posed the dreaded query, “Mom, why is Mrs. Lisa wearing her underpants outside? And why are there strings on some of them? Are they for her hamster companion?I tried to explain between choked laughter and horrified astonishment. However, Jake’s imagination was running wild as he pondered whether Mrs. Lisa had aerodynamically engineered underpants and was indeed a superhero. He even expressed a desire to participate, proposing that his Captain America boxers be displayed next to her “crime-fighting gear.” Jake would get curious and Lisa’s laundry would flap in the breeze on a daily basis. But I realized it was time to terminate this farce when he offered to hang his own underpants next to hers. So, prepared to settle the dispute amicably, I marched over to her residence. Before I could say anything, Lisa answered the door and made it plain that she wasn’t going to break her laundry routine for anyone. She dismissed my worries with a laugh, advised me to “loosen up,” and even gave me style tips for my own clothes. Despite my frustration, I remained resolute and devised a cleverly trivial scheme. Using the brightest fabric I could find, I made the biggest, flashiest pair of granny panties ever that evening. When Lisa departed the following day, I hung my work of art directly in front of her window. When she came back, the sight of the enormous underwear with a flamingo print almost took her breath away. It was worth every stitch to watch her lose her cool trying to take down my practical joke. After a while, she gave in and agreed to shift her laundry somewhere less noticeable, all the while I silently celebrated my success. After that, Lisa’s laundry disappeared from our shared vision, and everything returned to normal. What about me? In the end, I had some flamingo-themed curtains that served as a constant reminder of the day I prevailed in the suburban laundry war.
Dakota Johnson shared a funny story about how her mom, Melanie Griffith, introduced her to Barack Obama, and it was a bit embarrassing.
Moms are known for embarrassing their kids. But if you’re Dakota Johnson and your mom is famous actress Melanie Griffith, the embarrassment level goes up when she introduces you to the President of the United States.
While talking about some of her past movie roles, like The Social Network from 2010, Dakota shared with Vanity Fair how she felt a bit embarrassed during her first meeting with Barack Obama, all because of her mom.
“One time, I was with my mom, and we were meeting Barack Obama, which was a big deal,” Dakota recalled. “He was talking to her, and she said, ‘Oh, Mr. President, this is my daughter. She just did a movie. She’s an actress too. She was in The Social Network.’”
But instead of stopping there, her mom added an embarrassing detail, telling the former president, “She’s in her underwear.” In the movie, Dakota plays a college student who has a fling with Justin Timberlake’s character, Sean Parker, and in one scene, she wears an off-the-shoulder Stanford sweatshirt and bright red underwear.
About the experience, Dakota joked, “And I died. I died inside.”
In the same video, she talked about her thoughts before working with Justin Timberlake on The Social Network. “Are you kidding? I was just 19 and straddling Justin Timberlake and whipping him in the face with my hair,” Dakota said when asked if she had any ideas about acting with the former boy band member. “I definitely had some preconceived notions, but he was really nice and welcoming, especially since I was just a stranger.”
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