Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Man Saves Pennies For 45 Years and Rakes In a Fortune
He entered the bank while a dolly followed in his wake. Everyone looked at him at once when the sound of the coins was heard.
The coin master, Otha Anders, served as a supervisor for the Jackson School Board. He was the one to whom suspended children were sent, and they grew to love him.
Anders’s spouse and children were by his side throughout, but he had a somewhat dubious interest.
Something that began as a fun project developed into a passion, almost like an obsession.
Anders thinks that God is teaching him to be thankful with every penny he finds. He nearly always found a penny on the days he didn’t pray. He felt that was how God was directing him to express his gratitude.
Anders was a man of faith, thus he said prayers on the penny when most people would just wish for anything.
“I came to believe that finding a misplaced or dropped penny served as an extra divine prompt to always express gratitude,” Anders stated to USA Today.”There have been days when I have neglected to pray, and almost without fail, a misplaced or dropped penny has appeared to remind me.”
He kept them in five-gallon plastic water jugs for forty-five years. He surmised that he had hundreds of thousands of dollars stashed away, but he would soon find out.
The staff members had a great day trying something new when they carried the gallons to the bank. They used an ax and hammer to chop the pennies out of the water bottles. They had a number after five hours of chopping and counting on the coin counter.
Anders had saved $5,136.14 in pennies over the course of 45 years! That comes to roughly 114.4$ annually. In forty-five years, who would have imagined that a pastime of collecting pennies might result in a “old car”?
Anders, however, used his money to pay off a recent dental bill.
He was glad to put the money toward a worthwhile purchase. He used the remaining cash to support a family vacation and church donations.
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