Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a memorable day, but his father’s absence left him feeling disappointed. Instead of celebrating with his son, his father chose to go on a fishing trip with friends, leaving Ryder devastated and questioning their relationship.
Growing up, Ryder’s life was normal until his parents started arguing when he was seven. By eight, his father was no longer living at home. Ryder vividly remembers his mother explaining the divorce, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. After the split, his mom worked hard as an elementary school teacher to provide for him, while his dad became more of a distant figure, often preoccupied with hobbies and weekends spent fishing.
As Ryder approached his 18th birthday, he hoped his father would finally prioritize him. He planned a small party with his mom and friends and even sent a message to his dad. When his father responded with: “I’ll try to be there”, Ryder felt a flicker of hope. However, on the big day, despite all the decorations and a cake baked by his mom, his father didn’t show up.
After waiting hours without any contact from his dad, Ryder called him, only to learn that he was still on the lake, seemingly indifferent to his son’s special day. Ryder felt crushed and hid in his room until his mom found him. He struggled to mask his disappointment, feeling invisible and unimportant.
A week later, his father called, offering to give Ryder a gift. Despite his anger, Ryder agreed to visit. When he arrived, his dad handed him a shiny fishing rod, a gift that felt more like a reminder of his absence than a thoughtful present. Ryder felt betrayed, realizing that his father would never truly prioritize him. When his dad invited him to join a fishing trip with friends, Ryder politely declined, knowing deep down that their relationship would never change.
As he left, holding the fishing rod, Ryder felt a shift within himself. He recognized he didn’t need to chase after someone who didn’t want to be there for him. In the months that followed, he focused on the people who truly cared—his mom and friends. He threw himself into music, practicing the guitar and helping his mom around the house to show his appreciation.
One evening, while washing dishes, his mom asked if he had heard from his father. Ryder shook his head, feeling at peace with his decision to stop waiting. His mom expressed sadness about their relationship, but Ryder reassured her that having her support was more than enough.
Over time, Ryder learned that his self-worth wasn’t dependent on his father’s attention. His experiences taught him an important lesson: sometimes, people won’t fulfill your expectations, and that’s okay. The fishing rod remains in his closet as a reminder not of what he lost, but of what he gained: self-respect, resilience, and the ability to move on from what he couldn’t change.
38-year-old woman wrote her own obituary, we aII need to read it
Sonia Todd of Moscow, Idaho, died of cancer at the young age of 38. But knowing the end was near, she decided to write her own obituary before passing away. As she explained, obituaries were usually written a couple of different ways that she simply didn’t care for. So, as one of her last acts on this earth, she put pen to paper and decided for herself how her obituary would read.
The result of Sonia confronting her own mortality as she penned her obituary was a piece full of humor as well as wisdom, appearing in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. The words were so honest and inspirational that long after her death, they will still ring true, giving others something to aspire to. Ironically, Sonia wrote, “I never really accomplished anything of note.” How wrong she was. The truth expressed in the obituary she wrote proved to be quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
“Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing sons (James and Jason), marrying my gracious, understanding and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior – I have done very little. None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for,” Sonia Todd began, explaining why she was writing her obituary and why it wouldn’t be like others.
Adding that she didn’t want a bunch of her loved ones sitting around to write a glowing report of her, which she says would be “filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and out-right-honest-to-goodness-lies,” Sonia explained she simply didn’t like putting people in those kinds of situations. With the explanation out of the way, she got to her version of the truth about her own life.
“I just tried to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried. For all of my crazy comments, jokes and complaints, I really did love people. The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of your life those are the things you really regret, the small simple things that hurt other people,” Sonia admitted.
Although she said that she mostly enjoyed life, she also said it wasn’t perfect and that she encountered many bumps in the road, especially in her teens and early 20s. Even though some parts of her life were harder than others, Sonia said, “I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn’t do any more than that.” She also claimed there were benefits to dying young. Jokingly, she wrote, “I still owe on my student loans and the jokes on them cuz I’m not paying them. Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers or the IRS.”Addressing the fact that some people have told her that writing her own obituary is morbid, Sonia Todd continued, “I think it is great because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way. Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.”
It was the conclusion of her obituary that was the most important, however. Sonia encouraged others to change their lives. “If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory do this: Volunteer at a school, church or library. Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive effect on your life. If you smoke – quit. If you drink and drive – stop,” she wrote.
Her advise continued, “Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop at all lemonade-stands run by kids and brag about their product. Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so.”
Today seems like a good day to honor Sonia’s memory by completing some of these simple requests and reminding others to do the same. Luckily for us, we still have time for these things. And, thankfully, with her dying wish, Sonia Todd left us these words of wisdom that few realize until it’s too late
Leave a Reply