Sonia Todd of Moscow, Idaho, died of cancer at the young age of 38. But knowing the end was near, she decided to write her own obituary before passing away. As she explained, obituaries were usually written a couple of different ways that she simply didn’t care for. So, as one of her last acts on this earth, she put pen to paper and decided for herself how her obituary would read.
The result of Sonia confronting her own mortality as she penned her obituary was a piece full of humor as well as wisdom, appearing in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. The words were so honest and inspirational that long after her death, they will still ring true, giving others something to aspire to. Ironically, Sonia wrote, “I never really accomplished anything of note.” How wrong she was. The truth expressed in the obituary she wrote proved to be quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
“Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing sons (James and Jason), marrying my gracious, understanding and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior – I have done very little. None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for,” Sonia Todd began, explaining why she was writing her obituary and why it wouldn’t be like others.
Adding that she didn’t want a bunch of her loved ones sitting around to write a glowing report of her, which she says would be “filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and out-right-honest-to-goodness-lies,” Sonia explained she simply didn’t like putting people in those kinds of situations. With the explanation out of the way, she got to her version of the truth about her own life.
“I just tried to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried. For all of my crazy comments, jokes and complaints, I really did love people. The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of your life those are the things you really regret, the small simple things that hurt other people,” Sonia admitted.
Although she said that she mostly enjoyed life, she also said it wasn’t perfect and that she encountered many bumps in the road, especially in her teens and early 20s. Even though some parts of her life were harder than others, Sonia said, “I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn’t do any more than that.” She also claimed there were benefits to dying young. Jokingly, she wrote, “I still owe on my student loans and the jokes on them cuz I’m not paying them. Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers or the IRS.”Addressing the fact that some people have told her that writing her own obituary is morbid, Sonia Todd continued, “I think it is great because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way. Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.”
It was the conclusion of her obituary that was the most important, however. Sonia encouraged others to change their lives. “If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory do this: Volunteer at a school, church or library. Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive effect on your life. If you smoke – quit. If you drink and drive – stop,” she wrote.
Her advise continued, “Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop at all lemonade-stands run by kids and brag about their product. Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so.”
Today seems like a good day to honor Sonia’s memory by completing some of these simple requests and reminding others to do the same. Luckily for us, we still have time for these things. And, thankfully, with her dying wish, Sonia Todd left us these words of wisdom that few realize until it’s too late
I Came Home to Find My Kids Outside with Packed Bags, It Was the Hardest Day of My Life
out here with your stuff?”
Jake glanced at his little sister, Emily, who clutched her stuffed rabbit tightly. “You texted us,” he continued, his voice soft. “You said to pack and wait for Dad. He was coming to get us.”
I froze, confusion giving way to panic. “I never sent you a text. Let me see your phone.”
Jake handed me his phone, and as I read the message, my blood ran cold.
“This is your mom. Pack your stuff, take the cash I left, and wait for Dad. He’ll be there soon.”
The words blurred in front of me. I hadn’t sent that message. I’d never tell them to leave. My heart pounded, and a wave of nausea swept over me.
“Mom?” Emily’s voice broke through my panic. Her wide blue eyes searched mine. “Are we going with Dad?”
“No, sweetheart,” I said firmly. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Just as I stood up, trying to figure out what to do, I heard the rumble of a car pulling into the driveway. My blood froze. I turned slowly to see who was behind the wheel.
It was him—Lewis, my ex-husband.
“Kids,” I said, keeping my voice low and steady. “Go inside. Now.”
Jake and Emily hesitated for a moment before grabbing their bags and retreating into the house. I turned to face Lewis, who had already stepped out of his car, wearing that same smug expression I’d grown to despise.
“Well, well,” he sneered. “Leaving the kids alone like this? Great parenting.”
“Are you serious?” I snapped, stepping toward him, my body trembling with anger. “You told them to pack up and wait for you. What are you trying to pull, Lewis?”
He leaned against his car, arms crossed, feigning innocence. “Just looking out for their safety. Maybe if you can’t handle things, they’d be better off with me.”
My anger boiled over. “You lost custody for a reason. Don’t forget that.”
His smirk grew wider. “Maybe that was a mistake.”
Before I could say another word, the front door creaked open. Jake and Emily stood in the doorway, tears streaking their faces, fear written all over them.
“Stop fighting!” Jake’s voice cracked as he pleaded. “Please, Mom. Please, Dad. Stop.”
Seeing their distress, Lewis shrugged, clearly unfazed. Without another word, he got back into his car and sped off, leaving me to pick up the pieces.
As I stood there, watching him disappear down the street, something shifted inside me. I had held it together for the kids, but deep down, I knew this wasn’t over. Lewis wasn’t going to stop. He would keep manipulating them, keep trying to twist the situation in his favor. I had to outsmart him.
I pulled my children into my arms, their tears soaking into my shirt. I made a silent vow to protect them, no matter what it took. I wouldn’t let Lewis turn them against me or make himself the hero in this mess.
I had heard rumors about his new girlfriend, Lisa—a woman who, like everyone else, believed Lewis’s lies about me. He had painted me as the “crazy ex-wife,” the unreasonable one who wouldn’t let him be part of his kids’ lives. But now, I had proof. The fake texts, the custody rulings, years of manipulation—all of it was about to come to light.
Determined, I gathered every piece of evidence I had—messages, legal documents, anything that could expose Lewis for the liar he was. I didn’t want revenge, but I wanted the truth to be known.
I reached out to Lisa, asking if we could meet in private. Surprisingly, she agreed. When we sat down together, I could see the hesitation in her eyes. She was guarded, ready to defend him. But I didn’t approach her with anger. Instead, I calmly laid out the facts, handing her the phone with the fake messages and the legal documents detailing the custody arrangement.
“Look,” I said, my voice steady. “I know what he’s told you about me, but this is the truth.”
Lisa’s eyes widened as she read through the evidence, her confidence wavering. I could see the gears turning in her head, the doubt creeping in.
“I’m not here to ruin your relationship,” I continued. “But I thought you deserved to know who he really is. He’s been manipulating you, just like he manipulated me.”
Lisa glanced up, conflicted. She tried to defend him at first. “He said you were difficult, that you wouldn’t let him see the kids…”
“I’m sure he did,” I said gently. “But the facts speak for themselves.”
She didn’t say much after that, but I could tell she was starting to question everything. It was only a matter of time before she’d realize the truth.
A few weeks later, I heard through a mutual friend that Lisa and Lewis’s relationship was crumbling. She had started confronting him about the lies, and their once-solid bond was unraveling. Small cracks turned into gaping holes, and the web of deception he had spun around her was falling apart.
I didn’t have to lift another finger. The truth had done the work for me.
I didn’t get revenge in the traditional sense, but I got something better—justice. Lewis’s manipulative games had finally caught up with him, and his house of cards was collapsing. It was all I had ever wanted.
And that was enough.
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